The Landman Doctrine

I had an interesting day yesterday. 

I was accused of something that I have never been accused of before. 

What was this vile slander you ask?

The accusation was that I had written a post that was too Bama friendly. 

Vile slander indeed!

I mean...Me!

Too Bama friendly?!

Its crazy talk I tell you!

It's an unfair accusation because:

This Auburn business started early. 

Here I am in 1976 with my two brothers. 

Looks like I'm wearing a burnt orange and white onesie and they are both wearing Auburn gear. 

But...

Yesterday I blogged about how I'm trying to teach the kids to be responsible Auburn fans and and that I was happy for (NOT HAPPY but HAPPY FOR) my friends who were Bama fans when they won the national championship. 

And let me just say that I wasn't happy for all the Bama fans I knew - just the ones that had had crazy bad years.

That statement and the blog yesterday produced these texts between me and my oldest brother yesterday.

Apparently, he thought I took it way too easy on Bama. 

Him: "I heard about your so called blog. You are no longer my sister. Good bye.

Me: Sorry, but you're stuck with me. Besides, you can't believe everything you read on blogs. ; ) Just listened to NPR's Fresh Air podcast where they interviewed John Feinstein - it was really good you should take a listen. 

Him: Feinstein probably has the guts to say he hates Bama.

Me: Hmmm...and the guts to go to the game when it's in Tuscaloosa?

Last year I went to the game and my brother didn't.

Him: When you were there did you buy some Bammer gear to wear when they go to the BCSNG this year?

AKA Jane Random bookmark - delete

Also, Melisa no longer allowed to read.

Me: I have no response to this - except to say: War Eagle

Him: Sometimes War Eagle is all there is. 

So, for the record:

I do hate houndstooth. 

I mean, I seriously feel kind of sick when I see it. 

But, that might be a bit of a maturity fail on my part.

I dunno.

I want to get to the point that when I see it I can just give it a big "whatever" instead of a 'gee, howdy, do I hate that hideous fabric.'

Also, for the record:

I do hate Bama.

But again, I'm working on having a 'whatever' attitude towards it.  

Kind of a 'the opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference' kind of thing.

You know...

I've never and will never understand how people can cheer for both teams, though. 

Here's the deal:

I would never, ever, ever cheer for Bama. 

And this brings up The Landman Doctrine.

The Landman Doctrine is a method proposed by my cousin (and countless others) that is used in our extended family that states that:

No matter what, under any circumstances should you ever cheer for Bama. 

If it's Darth Vader versus Bama we cheer for Darth Vader.

There have been times in the past when we, as Auburn fans, have actually needed Bama to win in order for something good to happen to us. 

For instance: Several years ago we were all set to go to the SEC Championship game but we needed LSU to lose a game in order to go. Their only remaining valid opponent was Bama. So, we needed Bama to win. 

However, the Landman Docrine was invoked and we did not cheer for them to win. 

Now, they ended up beating LSU and we got to go to Atlanta anyway so it all worked out. 

Basically, you can't really reason with me about this subject. 

It's kinda like bananas. 

It makes sense to eat them but I still won't do it. 

And I don't think it's neccessary for Bama fans to cheer for us either. 

Take my friend Holli...she's a Bammer.

And I mean, grew up in Tuscaloosa Bammer.

She won't cheer for Auburn to win. 

And I respect that about her. 

She is a real fan. 

But then I also have a friend named Cindy who cheers for both teams.

And I guess she's a real fan too. 

But, apparently, I'm not a real sister because of yesterday's blog. 

It's like I said though. 

He's kind of stuck with me.

Me and him:

1978

"Is that a Bammer I see on the Horizon? Let's get 'em!"