Your Mom is so cool...

If there is one phrase I've heard all my life it's:

Pick up this mess.

Put the book down.

Why are you late?

Your Mom is SO cool.

It's true.

Even now 15 years after high school my old friends still ask about her when they see me.

So, how is she cooler you ask?

I'll give you three reasons.

Reason the first:

She can hula hoop.

I can't.

Not to mention she has great legs.

Seriously, look at those babies!

My legs are stubby. 

Kinda like Plankton from Spongebob.

"Woman! Why must you compare your legs to mine!"

Sorry, Plankton.

Number two:

She has better fashion sense.

After all, I've blogged before about how we should all just wear togas.

We went to London in 1990 and I saw my first pair of Doc Martens. 

My Mom told me to get them. 

I told her no. 

I didn't understand why I would want to wear anything like those black, chunky things.

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" came out that winter and I realized I had missed my chance to be ahead of the curve.

I could have been the first one to have them - but no, I refused to listen.

I never did get any. 

Number three:

She is always performing super cool acts of service.

For instance, this Summer she has already knitted 42 hats to be sent to Uganda.

Forty two!

So that's it...just three.

Ooh! Ooh!

And one more!

She is kind of the Baby Whisperer.

On long trips:

When she gets squirrelly...

The baby not my Mom...

She can baby whisper her down from the ledge.

Ooh! Ooh!

And another one!

She can dance.

My cousin Jonathan had the best wedding reception ever. It was so much fun. 

My Mom = life of the party.

Me? I tried to dance. 

And then...

My dress fell off. 

Well, almost!

I had to go borrow safety pins to keep it on. 

If your dancing is so bad that parts of your outfit come unhinged...

Meanwhile, My mom was leading conga lines.

Maybe it runs in cycles.

Maybe there is hope for the baby.

She will just have to be cool for me.

"Don't put your issues of on me, woman!"