Grades came out for the teenagers last week. And while I wasn’t expecting any particularly glowing reports from the administration I was a bit taken aback by one grade in particular of the fourteen year olds. And by ‘a bit taken aback’ I mean when I saw what Henry had pulled in his Research and Writing class – which is an elective – I pretty much rained fire and brimstone down upon him. Sorry Mom, I actually cussed.
I mean, look at that child asking me ‘how do I check’ grades in DECEMBER. I was verklempt. I was beyond verklempt. Research and Writing should not be a class you get a D in. No how. No way. He assured me that it couldn’t be right. That there was no way his grade could be that bad. He’d turned everything in.
I called his bluff and e-mailed his teacher. While I certainly don’t consider myself a helicopter parent I’m not above going to the source of the issue to find out the unfiltered truth. I don’t recall exactly what I said in the e-mail to the teacher but I may have called my child an irresponsible miscreant. Who can recall.
On a side note, years ago I used to have a friend who was really into ‘speaking positive words’ into her children’s lives. She was always cautioning us to be careful with what we said about our kids. ‘Words have power! Only speak what you want to be true!‘ For instance, she had a kid who was naturally prone to exaggerating stories. Quite frankly, on the freeway of exaggeration her kid just got right on off at the exit of lying. Whenever she caught him in a lie she’d say ‘I’m so surprised that you lied you are always so truthful. You’re a very truthful child.” Then she’d look at us like ‘see ladies, this is how it’s done.‘ Look lady, I don’t know what kind of fancy pants angel babies you’re raising but my kids…they ain’t perfect and neither am I. And just because you say a thing doesn’t make it true. Words have power, my foot.
Anyway, the teacher emailed me back and assured me that a major project had NOT gotten turned in and thus the D.
I immediately fired back at my child. He stood firm. Promising up and down that he had turned it in. I told him if he really felt that way he needed to e-mail the teacher and work it out with him.
In the meantime, I’m firing off lectures left and right. I pulled out the ever reliable ‘if you spent a fraction of the time you spent on sports on your grades you wouldn’t be in this situation.’ Heck, I think I even pulled out the ‘does your football coach know about these grades?’ I was laying it on THICK.
A couple days later this email arrived:
Mother of Pearl. First of all, ‘thank you for your patience with me’ – Sir, you teach a room full of teenagers all day long. Pretty sure, I’m not the one who needs patience.
The smugness this child showed upon receiving this knowledge. It was, uh, something to behold.
Yes child, you were right and the adults were wrong. Oh wait, is this where I’m supposed to speak positive words over him. ‘Oh Henry, you are so responsible. You always follow through on your projects.’ I mean, last night you made brownies and left the kitchen a complete an absolute mess and quite frequently you treat the house like your own personal trash can but hahaha let me continue to speak positive words about you.
Teenagers man.