The foster care community is really into the concept of ‘self care.’ Like, what are you doing to make sure you are taking care of you. Self care may sound hokey but, I probably don’t have to tell you that doing foster care is a really hard job. I mean, think about how horrifying it must be for the kids that are in foster care. Think about what that does to your psyche. Then imagine that you have poor coping skills and you’re emotionally immature. That mix? It’s hard to parent.
“Why can’t I see my Mom?’ “I hate having to be in foster care!” “I want to go live with my real family!” “I haven’t seen my brothers and sisters in two years! “You love your real daughter more than you love me!” All things I’ve heard being a foster parent. For real, it’s a tough job.
I’ve never really thought about the concept of self care before. Probably because I’ve never needed to. Oh, sure I’ve had the occasional night where I’ve tossed the care of the minions to Billy and been all ‘dude, I’ve got to get out of this house‘ and headed to Starbucks but I’ve never needed daily ‘hey, you can do this’ pep talks from imaginary coaches in my head. Actually, that sounds kinda awesome. Note to self: continually imagine coaches yelling positive things at me.
So, last week I decided to make a list of the things I would like to do on a daily basis that would make me feel…happy? in control? like I’ve got a handle on things? secure? Just pick one of those.
I got the idea from Miss Zoot. She’s really into bullet journaling. At first, when I saw her posts about it I thought it was way too Type A for me but I gotta say I REALLY like doing it. It’s ridiculous but filling in those boxes gives me a huge sense of satisfaction and purpose.
Here’s what my list looked like after a week:
- Bible – I like to read it in the morning. You don’t judge me for doing it and I won’t judge you for not doing it.
- Weigh. I know, I know. Some people say you shouldn’t weigh every day but I like to. Again, don’t judge me.
- DTS – that’s FlyLady talk for get dressed to shoes. For months now I’ve been dropping the kids off in pajamas with the idea that I’ll go home and change. Now, I lay my clothes out the night before and get dressed with my shoes on before I even walk into the kitchen in the morning.
- COFFEE – yes, it’s so important it needs to be in all caps. After I get my coffee I like to sit down and…
- PRAY – I usually write it down in my journal. This is all very thrilling to you, I know.
- MPU stands for morning pick up. I abhor coming home from dropping the kids off and seeing syrup laden forks etc on the kitchen table and blankets sprawled all over the floor. It would be awesome to have time to pick it up before we walk out the door. It would also be awesome if the kids would pick up after there dad gum selves.
- BLD – Did I eat healthy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Blah, blah, blah…Yawn.
- RUN – I want to be a runner. Like, I really want to. Unfortunately the whole six kids thing isn’t exactly making that easy. Oh, who am I kidding. I have time. I’m just choosing not to. One day!
- BLOG – Remember when I used to blog every single day?
- CUOF – That stands for check up on a friend. Just send a ‘how’s it going kinda text’ to a random friend.
- FM – I want to be one of those families that has ‘family meetings’ like I want to be one of those people that run. I want to but I’m not currently doing anything to make it happen.
- WATER – Did I drink my water – yeah, yeah, yeah…another yawn.
- RW – RenWeb is a tool that lets me check on the kid’s grades and homework. One of our kids is really struggling right now so I need to sit down with him everyday and look at his lesson plans. Yeah, you can imagine how much he loathes that.
So, that’s it. Last week I got a 47% on my Self Care Bullet Journal. Sheesh, that’s a big ole F isn’t it. Maybe someone needs to sit down with me and go over my lesson plans. Hey! Maybe it could be an imaginary coach!
Well, at least I can fill in the little ‘blog’ box today.