Today’s story isn’t funny. Heck, when you are blogging your most embarrassing moments every single day they can’t all be funny. So bear with me while I share this one.
Nothing makes me crazier about myself then when it’s time to put my big girl panties on and I don’t. For instance, I bought a sweater last week at Ann Taylor, paid full price for it, and today, the second time I’ve worn it, I see a big ole hole in it. Now, if I’d gone hiking in it or did some sort of strenuous activity I’d understand but, nope, I just wore it at a conference for a few hours. So, a normal woman would go back to Ann Taylor and get another sweater. Since I’m a big fat baby, though, I won’t because I think ‘oh, I don’t want to cause any trouble,’ I’ll just keep wearing it – hole and all.
Gah! Be a grown up! Stand up for yourself. My Mom is SO good at this. A little too good actually. What is my problem?
Halloween always reminds me of the embarrassment of all the times when I should have said something and didn’t. That’s because I had quite the little life changing event at Halloween several years ago, several neighborhoods ago. Well, if not life changing it certainly made me much more willing to speak up for myself.
Here’s how it all went down: I was sitting in my driveway shooting the breeze with my one of my neighbors when the subject of Halloween came up. It was just a few days away and I was telling her how much I love to see all the trick or treaters on the thirty first. She paused for a moment and said ‘I used to enjoy seeing all the trick or treaters but I really don’t anymore.’ I remarked that ‘Since your kids are grown I don’t suppose it’s as fun as it used to be.’ She leaned in, looked around, and said:
“Well, it’s just that it’s gotten so…URBAN. It’s so URBAN now that we just turn our lights out and don’t give out candy. I’m not a racist but I just liked it better when it was kids from OUR neighborhood and not kids that just come in from outside. Know what I mean?”
Urban. So…urban. Did she just say urban?
So, this is where I should have said ‘That sounds really unfair. Why do you care what color the trick or treaters are?’ But or course I didn’t. Because reacting like that would have been the right thing to do. The grown up thing to do. Instead, I just stammered out a ‘well, other holidays are fun too.’
Other holidays are fun too. What the heck does that even mean? What a ridiculous way to opt out of the conversation, Paula. Now sometimes people excuse racism in the elderly because they say ‘well, it’s hard to change when you’re old,’ but y’all this woman was in her fifties. That ain’t old and she had no excuse. Neither did I though. I should have said something.
I mean, urban, dear Lord, urban? She really just said urban. Sheesh, just say black or latino or whatever it is you actually mean. And anytime someone has to preface something by saying ‘I’m not a racist but…’ Yeah, that’s pretty much a guarantee that whatever you are going to say IS actually racist.
Seriously, people…
And she’s may be the only person who has flat out said ‘urban’ but I’ve heard lots of people complain that kids from other neighborhoods trick or treat in their neighborhood. In our neighborhood.
Why in the WORLD do you care who shows up at your door to trick or treat? You’re handing out candy for goodness sake. Heck, you probably bought the cheap kind. Just give them the stupid candy. And no, since you asked, I don’t care whether it’s a teenager in a costume or a grown up or whatever. If it makes them happy and doesn’t cost you anything extra just do it. Either it goes in their pillowcase or back in your kitchen to sit and get stale.
Hey Christians, it’s the one time people are going to actually COME to your door. How about showing a little love and not worrying about what zip code they come from.
Now look, if you’re that person that just flat out doesn’t like Halloween, for goodness sake, turn your light off. I’m certainly not saying everyone has to like it – I’m just saying please don’t pull this ‘I only want kids from my neighborhood in my neighborhood.’ I just can not possibly think of a reason why it’s okay to say this ever.
I don’t know…maybe I’m so adamant about this because I didn’t grow up in a neighborhood. We always trick or treated with my cousin Eddie and his siblings because they always lived in neighborhoods full of kids.
So, when you complain that trick or treaters from different zip codes are coming in you are complaining that I came in.
How about your promise not to be my racist neighbor and I’ll promise to speak up next time someone say something this asinine.
My minions in 2009. Stella is one sneeze away from being dropped in this picture.