Don't Trust the Bride's Brother...

Well, sure, anyone can throw rice at a wedding. But who all can wave streamers? Especially super fun streamers like these:

Each wooden dowel had bells and ribbons tied on them. 

There were so much fun. They were going to be the perfect thing to wave as the bride and groom ran through. 

And, ya know, War Eagle.

Everyone got into the streamers. 

A lot. 

"Please just leave me alone with the streamer." 

"I stinkin' love this streamer!"

Of course the grand plan was for the bride and groom to run out under the beautiful waving of streamers and bells.

Er...Not so much. 

It was mainly due to...Ya know, I'm not even going to say mainly. I'm going to say it was 100% due to this guy:

The bride's brother.

He brought Costco sized bags of birdseed to the site and then began liberally handing it out in Dixie cups fills. 

Not only that but as they walked out he poured practically an entire bag down her dress.

And he was also the officiant at the wedding!

Here's the proof:

What's that in your hand. punk?

And the aftermath:

I'm sure the maids at the hotel wondered what in the world bird seed was doing all over the floor. 

Lots and lots of bird seed. 

After the wedding I asked the bride's brother if he was worried about retribution from her. 

His response: 

"Hmph! That was nothing!"

He then went on to tell me a litany of truly awful things he had done to unsuspecting couples. 

Cat food on the manifold of a car, vaseline under door handles, an entire bucket of water poured on one couple (for this he had to crawl up on a church roof), and crickets released in a getaway car. And  those are just a few!

So all in all I guess she got off pretty easy. 

"Pretty like the streamers?"

Yes, child, pretty like the streamers.