Yes, yes, yes...
I know everyone is way sick of hearing people complain about this crazy pants heat.
Heck, even the lifeguards at the pool are complaining about the heat:
We actually went to the pool today. We are lucky enough to live directly behind the Jones Valley pool so quick trips are no big deal.
Unfortunately this means that sometimes I don't plan so well because I know I can just go right back home if I need something. Like today I managed to show up with no book to read and no swimsuit.
Go figure.
I borrowed an old magazine from the lifeguard and tried to find some shade as I watched the kids. When I sat down I saw this book sitting in a chair in front of me:
William Faulkner's Light in August.
It took me back to the summer I had to read it and how much I loathed it and how I missed curfew the first week that school got out and had a cruddy curfew for the rest of the summer. And then I decided to blame Lindsay, my best friend from high school, for it because we were with her boyfriend.
Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the lack of a swimsuit, or maybe it was just that I was relegated to an issue of Us Weekly that was two years old...Whatever it was kids, I snapped.
At least in my head I snapped.
I started getting very ranty.
"Who is this poor kid that has to read that vile book on a 107 degree day? And why do schools still make kids read that business? It's enough to make a kid hate reading. This is ridiculous! The library is full of great books for teenagers and they have to read that book! I ought to write a letter! William Faulkner, my foot! In fact, I blame the state of Mississippi! How dare they inflict that man's writing on us. Great Southern writer...I don't think so!
Oh, I went on and on and on.
Kinda like Mr Faulkner's sentences...
I was so wrapped up in my hatred for Faulkner that I stomped up to the pool and asked the only other group of people dumb enough to be at the there today whose book it was.
This gentlemen admitted it was his. He looked too old for high school so I assumed it was a college assignment.
I told him that I was going to blog about how ridiculous it is that teachers are still assigning this book and how I felt bad for him.
His réponse:
"I'm not in school. I just like Faulkner."
Oh...Well...Um...
Don't I feel sheepish.
Wait! No, I don't!
No way! No way does someone actually like Faulkner! I bet it's like when reporters ask celebrities what book they are reading and they answer War and Peace but you know some Julia Quinn* book is beside there bed.
Blast it. I'm getting ranty again.
It's the heat.
________________________________
No offense to Julia Quinn. I've read all of her books and give her props for terrific banter and character development. Pretty much the opposite of what I would give Faulkner.
Tags:
Read Jane Read
I might like him too :) But now I live in Mississippi so maybe it is OK :)
ReplyDeleteWell, You didn't like Pride and Prejudice so we are already at literary odds! ; )
DeleteOle Miss grad feels compelled to say that what you are really ranting against is being forced to read an author whose style you didn't like. Blame Randolph. Not WF or MS. Plenty of writers out there you would have probably hated worse but you weren't compelled to read them by the dreaded required reading list. And I like the idea of zinging Randolph anyway boo!
ReplyDeletePlease don't try to bring reason or sanity into my blog. There is no place for that here.
DeleteAnd back off on Randolph! ; )
I like "ranty Paula". But not as much as "cynical Billy". He's one of my favorite Billy's.
ReplyDeleteI like "ranty Paula". But not as much as "cynical Billy". He's one of my favorite Billy's.
ReplyDeleteThank your lucky stars Paula you weren't born in the UK! We had to read Shakespeare... lots of it!!! Never could get my head around Yee Old English with it's 'thee' and 'thou'. As a kid I just wanted to read Lord of the Rings.
ReplyDelete^ That wasn't just the UK. We read plenty of Shakespeare in school and hated it just as much. Yes, it was brilliant in its time. No, in this time period, it's really not all that relevant or easy to read. Yes, I realize that apparently that's blasphemy to say.
ReplyDeleteWe never had to read Faulkner in school, but believe you me, we had to read just as equally horrible literary fiction with overly-flowery descriptions and boring plot lines. And we wonder why kids don't like to read.
ABFTS, You got through that entire comment without saying anything offensive or cussing! I'm really proud of you. ; )
DeleteNot to sound too much like a teacher, but if you don't read the classics which contain the same problems that we go through today in a slightly different language with a few slightly different problems, and yes, often way too wordy (but remember they didn't have media and had to keep themselves entertained), then you wouldn't know how lucky you really are to be living in our time period where you can blog almost immediately about how bad the book you had to read is/was. The bad ones make you really appreciate the good ones. BTW, I am not a fan of Hemingway, especially the easy to read "The Old Man and the Sea," because, as Paula says, I get really "snarky" in my writing and verbal responses after reading his books.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand Hemingway either. ; )
Delete