Hijacked rainbows...

I know I'm way to old to be nattering on about the subject of rainbows but...

Alright, wait...Rabbit trail!

First, lets talk about the word 'nattering.'

The official definition is: 

"to talk casually - especially about things of little importance"

Oh, boy. 

Yeah, that's pretty much me in a nutshell. 

My Mom once cross stitched me a quote that says:

"Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut."

She feels my pain.

So, I am not afraid to natter. 

Especially when I'm nervous. 

The worst it ever got was at my ten year high school reunion.

See...

I was eight and a half months pregnant with our second child. 

Hello, pregnant me. 

So, anyway you know that big and awkward stage that looks cute on other pregnant people but just makes you feel like a buffalo?

Well, I was right in the middle of it.

To add to the nerves my husband was out of town.  

"Somebody has to sell firetrucks in this town."

The reunion was held at a local restaurant and I got there early because I had made the reservations.

So I quietly waited in the room all by my lonesome.

And because I was in there all by myself I took my heels off and tried to stretch my swollen feet out. 

At this point a couple walks in and there I am:

barefoot and pregnant.  

It's my ex-boyfriend of three years and his beautiful wife. 

My ex-boyfriend...lets just call him Eb.

So Eb and his wife show up...

And...it's awkward.

Smile now sister because this is all gonna be incredibly awkward in ten years...

And because it's awkward, 

And I'm pregnant, 

And my security blanket my husband is out of town, 

and it's been eight years since I've seen Eb it all adds up to a great big fit of nerves.

So...

I start talking.

And I talk. 

And talk. 

And talk. 

I don't know if I have ever nattered on so much in my entire life.

I seriously do not think they said one word the entire time I talked. 

Not.One.Word.

I mean I talked non stop for TEN MINUTES.

Ten minutes!

Sigh. 

It was ugly. 

I have no clue what I said but it was bad. 

I mean, my cheeks are getting hot just remembering it. 

And just wait!

The story isn't even over yet...

So, people finally start getting there and I can escape. 

Everyone mingles for a few minutes and then we finally sit down. 

Now I was the last one standing so I start to look around for a seat and find that there is only one left. 

Yep, just one. 

One little seat. 

And yes, it was the one directly across from Eb and his wife. 

Oh, don't worry dear readers...

I found that I was perfectly capable of nattering on all through dinner too. 

You know when you hear people talk about being attacked and how mentally they separated themselves from the event and went to a happy place?

That's kinda what happened. 

My mouth was still moving and I was still talking but mentally I was in my warm pajamas, drinking hot cocoa on the couch with my husband. 

People...

If you see me out in public...

Feel free to tell me to stop talking. 

Dang. 

This blog was supposed to be about rainbows and I've nattered on about other things. 

Tomorrow we rainbow. 

Today...lets just forget about it.