One night in college at Auburn I was at Farmhouse - a Fraternity - with some friends. I was listening to some guys talk about the football team when my ears perked up. See, earlier that day I had listened to my cousin Jonathan discuss this exact football topic with his sister. So, I piped up and repeated the intelligent thing about the team that he had said. Except...I left out the part about having heard it from Jonathan.
So, suddenly I was in their minds that most elusive of creatures! A girl that liked to talk about football. A girl that knew what she was talking about when she talked about football. Okay, in my defense I did grow up around football and I had brothers, and my 'group' in college was super into football, so it wasn't like I was only pretending to know what I was talking about.
Some of my group:
'Did she really convince that guy she knew what she was talking about?'
But I do like to talk about football! At the party, for the next hour I was able to follow along and contribute to the conversation. Barely. Honestly, I don't even remember what they were talking about now. All I know is that one minute I was sitting in my cousin's apartment listening to him talk the subject to death with his sister and the next minute I was regurgitating exactly what I had heard.
You know that feeling you get when you know that are coming off as smarter than you actually are? Yeah, I had that feeling.
The next afternoon I got a phone call from the president of the Fraternity, Danny, asking me out on a date. A date! The president of the Fraternity! And don't think 'frat daddy' or the bad guy in college movies. This wasn't that fraternity or that guy. Plus, he was a believer and super handsome and a Plainsman! Being selected to be a Plainsman is a huge deal at Auburn. This guy was WAY out of my league.
Now at this point in the story you may be thinking: "Oh, you're an okay girl I'm sure he wasn't out of your league." Let me just rabbit trail with you for a minute. Last year I met a girl who was at Auburn when I was. We knew the same people and I realized that her husband used to be really close to this guy. When I told her I went on a few dates with Danny she flat out didn't believe me! I had to go into all these details to convince her!
Alright, enough of that...Anyway, the only reason he was asking me out was because of the big football show I had put on the night before.
SO...
Elation! He asked me out! And then: Depression! What the heck am I gonna say when he tries to talk with me in depth about sports? My big 'I'm so knowledgeable about football' ruse is going to be spoiled!
The next morning I showed up at my cousin's door bright and early: "Jonathan! Tell me everything that's going on in every corner of the athletic department."
Jon is the one on the left beside me.
We then sat on his couch while I wrote down important points about every sport - especially football. He was very patient with me. He thought the whole thing was funny. On the morning of the date I took a pin and wrote tinily on my palm an acrostic of important talking points. TRUE STORY!
Danny and I had lunch. I fumbled my way through it. It must have worked though because he called again. I repeated this process with sessions with my cousin Jon through three more dates. It was exhausting but man could I talk my way around the field.
We went to a formal dance, a social and a hayride. Oooh, la! It was fun.
Nice picture, huh?
And then...Danny never called again.
Thank goodness because this was looming on the horizon:
Now some people would call what I did cheating. Me? I call it being interested in what the other person is interested in! That's just being polite! Right? Cheating? No way!
I mean, maybe it's a bit of a gray area...but it's not cheating! I mean, it wasn't super honest but...
Hmmm....Dang. Maybe it was cheating.
What say you readers? Was I a big fat liar? Cheating or not?