This post is not PG-13...

There is nothing remotely PG-13 about this post.

Actually, there is nothing even PG about this post.

But...

I mean there is nothing, absolutely nothing, illicit about this post!

However...

Sometimes when I tell this story I get looks.

Oh, you know what looks I'm talking about...

Those judgmental...

 My pecan pie is better than yours because I hand made the crust...

 ...type looks.

Which is why I don't ever tell the story anymore.

But see...

I'm not actually blogging tonight.

It's our family's annual Cousin's Camp so I'm actually sleeping in an UNAIRCONDITIONED cabin with a bunch of 9 year old boys.

I had to write three blogs in advance because surprisingly wi-fi hasn't quite made in to Crane Hill, Alabama.

I'm trusting my brother to upload my blogs for me.

Here we are back in the eighties:

"How dare you expect me to upload your blogs for you!"

So, why this story if I normally don't tell it?

Quite frankly, I'm kind of running out of blog ideas and so I'm having to break out the slightly off kilter stories.

So, here goes the inappropriate but absolutely not inappropriate blog...

In 1995, I moved to Auburn, Alabama for college.

My best friend moved to Atlanta, Georgia to attend Georgia Tech.

Every month or so one of us would make the short drive to see each other. 

Now this best friend was also an ex-boyfriend but that has nothing to do with this story.

It was an amicable split.

One minute we were best friends and the next minute we were dating and the next minute we were best friends again.

Go figure...

So...

The girl's dorms at Auburn are still very old school.

Boys are allowed in only during visiting hours and only after they have signed in and shown ID.

Georgia Tech however allows females in at any time and no one has to sign in.

So, I drove to Atlanta one weekend to see my friend. 

I slept on the top bunk while my friend's roommate slept on the bottom bunk and my friend slept on the floor.

Lest you think it was weird I can assure you it wasn't. 

It was a Friday night, the dorms were open all night, people constantly coming and going etc...

So, sometime in the middle of the night I woke up and felt someones feet near my face!

Someone had crawled into the bunk bed.

In my sleep induced state I just assumed my friend had gotten cold - it was November - and had crawled in to the bunk and to keep it appropriate had put his head at my feet. 

Is this starting to sound like the book of Ruth in the Bible?

If you don't get the reference go read the book - it's short.

Anyway...I wake up the next morning and looked down and...

 There was a complete stranger laying at my feet. 

I sat up and said my friends name - quite frantically. 

This caused the stranger to wake up very grumpily and say:

"Who the heck are you?"

I said:

"Who am I? Who are you?"

At this point the alcohol smell that this guy was putting off hit me. 

I have no clue how I missed it in the middle of the night but there ya go. 

My friend said "Dude, don't you live down the hall?"

He said "Oh, yeah. Sorry" and just like that crawled off the bed and walked out of the room.

Talk about Joe Random. 

Joe Random meet Jane Random. 

And then please never come back again.

Surreal.

So, I mean it's not every day something that bizarre happens.

See, I told you the post wasn't PG-13.

You think it was?

Oh, go hand make a pie crust.