Misquoted lyrics...

I've been misquoting song lyrics for years.

Try not to be too shocked.

Usually this occurs at really embarrassing times.

Let's just talk about a few shall we?

Incident #1

The year was 1984. 

The song "The Heart of Rock and Roll" by Huey Lewis and the News was at the top of the charts. 

One night while driving in the car with my older brothers the song came on and I started singing it. 

I was jamming out to it (probably wearing Jams) when the chorus came up:

"They say the heart of rock and roll is still beating. 

And from I've seen I believe 'em.

Now the old boy may be barely beating

But the heart of rock and roll is still beating.

Except...

When that last line came up I didn't say beating.

Because...

I thought it was

"But the heart of rock and roll is in Cleveland."

Yep, Cleveland.

Ya know...I just don't know. 

What I do know is that it's not a good idea to sing those lyrics in front of your older brothers.

Because they will go to school the next day and tell the high school cheerleaders.

And then those girls will come up to you and make fun of you for it. 

And then you'll have to write a blog about it twenty six years later.

Me: "The lyrics say Cleveland right?"

Other me: "Yeah, totally! Sing that next time it comes on!"

Incident #2

In college music is very important. 

I assume it's that way everywhere.

We listened to music ALL THE TIME. 

Not only did we listen to it we sang along to it. 

It was a bonding thing.

Or something like that. 

So, one night we were all in the car together...

...we being my collective group...

These guys:

So, we are in the car and Hank Williams junior's song "Dinosaur" comes on. 

Now, Dinosaur is a song about a guy whose favorite dive has been turned into a fancy bar.

The song was written in 1979.

The song's actual lyrics are:

"And you know these flashing lights sure make me dizzy, 

And this disco's very strange to my ears, 

It looks like they've turned the Longhorn into a spaceship

And I'll be leavin' just as soon as I finish this beer."

But...

That's not what I sang.

That's not what I sang at the top of my lungs.

What I sang was:

"It looks like they've turned the Longhorn into a steakhouse."

A steakhouse.

As in Longhorn Steakhouse.

I'm.An.Idiot.

Seriously!

My friends...

Oh, how they laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

Incident #3

I won't say much about incident number three.

Let me just say that if you are trying to sound...

...saucy...

and you are singing R Kelly's "Ignition Remix" to your husband it only sounds saucy if you get the lyrics right. 

Because, while these lyrics sound um...saucy:

"It's the remix to ignition

Hot and fresh out the kitchen

Mama rolling that body

Got every man in here wishin"

These lyrics don't:

"It's the remix to ignition

Hot and fresh out the chicken."

Out the chicken.

CHICKEN!

Nothing kills the mood faster than singing about poultry.

So misquoted lyrics...