When I turn eighty...

You've probably heard the poem by Jenny Joseph entitled "Warning"

No?

I had no idea it was called that or who wrote it before today but you'll probably recognize the first two lines of it. 

When I'm an old woman I shall wear purple 

with a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me


I like it. 

It reminds me of my Aunt Mary. 

See, Aunt Mary was old. 

But I don't mean rickety old. 

I mean feisty old!

And whew, could she talk!

She once told me:

If there are two things in this world I can't stand its people who say everything has to match in their kitchens and doctors who tell me to stop eatin' so much salt!


I agree with her!

She was 96 when she told me that and if I live to be 96 and doctors are still trying to to get me to cut back on salt...

I mean, really!

I have no clue what she meant about 'things in the kitchen needing to match.'

Sounds funny though. 

So...

 When I turn 80 I don't want to wear purple. 

Or wear a red hat. 

In fact, there is just one thing I want to do.

I was reminded of it this weekend when I walked by it at a conference:

I want to steal a golf cart. 

Seriously!


As soon as I turn 80 I'm stealing a golf cart and taking it joyriding!


And I may yell "GRAMMY AT THE WHEEL!" a la Mo Willems. 


Mo Willems - potentially best kids author ever. 


Why?

Number one: There is nothing more fun than driving a golf cart. 

Number two: It's easy as a duck to drive them.

I mean even if you don't read the oh so important instructions on the steering wheel the pedals are pretty self explanatory. 

As you can see they are clearly marked 'stop' and 'go.'

Those are my kind of instructions.

So...watch out world. 

Because come December 14th, 2056 I'm stealin' a golf cart. 

And I'm takin' it joyridin'!

And I may wear purple while I do it.

What about you, dear reader?

What are you doing when you turn eighty?