Greg Screws and Autocorrect

So it's called either autocorrect or spellcheck but either way its the program on your phone or computer that automatically fixes your spelling mistakes. 

Sort of. 

Here is an example of what I'll now refer to as:

 "When Autocorrect Attacks."

A couple days ago we decided to go see Greg Screws perform in a stand up show.

It was for a really great cause.

Plus, Greg Screws is a funny guy and Merrimack Hall is a fantastic venue.

The show turned out to be great.

His bits about local history and sports...

 As well as a truly hilarious piece about his accidental run in with Amway salesmen.

 ...were perfect for the night.

The parts about his daughter were especially poignant.

It was excellent.

I've heard he might do another show next year so you should probably look it up if you're in the area.

But we aren't there yet...

So Merrimack plus Greg Screws:

It was a 'win win' situation.

As opposed to a 'no win' situation which is where this story is heading.

So we asked my cousin Rusty and his wife Stacey to come. 

They agreed and a couple days before the event as I was driving I passed my iPhone to the 8 year old and told him to text Rusty and tell him we got the tickets for the show. 

Here was our conversation about the texting:

Me: "Text Rusty and tell him we got the tickets and we'll see them Saturday."

Minion: "Okay"

Time passes

Minion: "I did it but he texted back 'Huh'?"

Me: "He probably thinks its me texting and is trying to mess with me."

Because, can I just say, that IS something Rusty would do.

Me: (cont) "Just tell him its you and not me."

Minion: "Wait! I see something! When I typed Saturday it made it say waterway."

AUTOCORRECT!

BLAST!

Me: "Oh...okay no wonder he is confused. It autocorrected your spelling of Saturday to Waterway. Just text him and say it autocorrected and that we've got the tickets and we'll see him on Saturday."

Minion: "Okay. 

Time passed.

I did it but he still says 'huh?"

I told him not to worry about it and when we stopped I looked at the phone.

This is the actual text conversation between James, the eight year old, and Rusty

James: Got tikits see you waterway.

Rusty: Huh?

James: It ws James. tickets saturday.

Rusty: Huh?

James: It was ato caret.

James: It was ato carect.

Rusty: I have no idea.

After I read that I realized autocorrect is no match for an eight year old's failed attempts at spelling.

A friend was also foiled by autocorrect today.

Here we are:

Well...here we are in 1998.

So today she Facebooked:

"Be warned...I have a pucker on my hands. If you were around us yesterday watch out."

So I read that and thought:

"Hmmm. Pucker? Maybe a pucker is some sort of rash on her hands? Maybe its contagious?"

I was about to google it when I saw a comment pop up.

It said:

"Autocorrect changed 'puker' to 'pucker.'"

Oh...

So someone in her family is ill and she was warning the people that were around them yesterday. 

AUTOCORRECT!

BLAST!

So autocorrect isn't always a bad thing.

I mean, sometimes autocorrect would be really helpful.

For instance, once we were singing in a rural church that still used the old projectors to broadcast the lyrics up on the screen. 

I can't remember what hymn it was but I do remember the word we were supposed to sing was "thing."

Except...it didn't say 'thing' on the screen.

It said...

Wait for it...

It said:

'Thong'

Yep. 

One hundred and fifty Alabama Baptists singing the word 'thong' in church.

Dear Autocorrect, Where were you?

It was awkward.

Do you think God laughed at that?

Speaking of things God probably laughs at...

 People need autocorrect sometimes. 

A few years ago I was at my Grandmom's house and she told me that one of my cousins had lost his job. 

Now this particular cousin has seven children so I was worried about it. 

I told several of my friends who are real prayer warriors about it. 

My husband and I prayed about it - I think it even went on some church bulletins.

So a couple weeks went by and I saw his wife and asked how things were going. 

She laughed and said that my Grandmom had been confused - he had never lost his job - just changed positions in the company. 

Er...

So all this praying I was doing....

Was God thinking: 

"Hello? I've got this."

Was he laughing at me?

He should have been if He wasn't. 

Autocorrect. 

Its a good thong.

I mean thing!