Its just impossible...

Its a well known fact that trying to look cool while snow skiing is pretty much impossible. 

Its cold and its windy and you have to wear lots of puffy clothes. 

Puffy clothes aren't cool. 

I've been skiing since I was four. 

So assuming I went at least every other year that is a heck of a lot of really puffy clothes. 

Lets go back to the early years:

So here is a picture of me wearing 'bibs.'

When you ski people will try to talk you into wearing 'bibs.'

I have no idea why. 

I have no idea what 'bibs' stands for. 

They are basically puffy overalls.

In my case they were puffy overalls that smelled funny because they sat in the attic all summer. 

Or they smelled funny because your older brothers wore them first. 

They were also really hard to take off when you needed to go to the bathroom. 

Which could have been another reason they smelled funny. 

Moving along. 

So in the above picture I'm wearing goggles. 

Over my hair. 

No one looks good wearing goggles. 

But you say 'how about that guy that ..."

Nope. 

He didn't look good wearing goggles either. 

Another picture:

So apparently I had abandoned the goggles by this point and had moved on to sunglasses. 

Thats an improvement. 

But what the camera doesn't pick up well is the two huge circles on Zinka on my face. 

See when you ski you get sunburned. 

In the 80's people thought it was a good idea to smear thick neon sunscreen on your face. 

The saddest thing about this picture is that I distinctly remember feeling really cool this day. 

Why?

Its a mystery.

Next: 

Apparently when you snowmobile you need to wear a big ole white hairbow on your head. 

Its your cousin Margarets. 

She left it on your trampoline and you 'borrowed' it. 

For like forever.

You also need to wear big ole puffy white gloves. 

Moving along...

Full body suits are just as bad as bibs. 

Full body suits that are teal are even worse. 

And whats with that roll around my neck? 

It looks like I had some sort of neck injury. 

It looks like I was about to testify in court about my injury.

Picture a really big southern lawyer drawling "So what your sayin' Ms Wilson is that the injury happened while you were skiing"

Okay, I'm taking it way too far. 

Next:

Oh, wow. 

Glasses. Check.

Braces. Check.

Stringy hair. Check.

Neon puffy coat. Check.

Welcome to age fifteen.

And...

I'd like to take this opportunity to throw my cousin Margaret under the bus. 

I wasn't the only one out there with big sungasses and a penchant for neon. 

Here we are 5 years later:

Hmmm....I'm not sure its that much better. 

We traded big sunglasses in for weird sunglasses. 

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I think the moral of the story is to leave your cameras at home when you ski.